Tentang Keberanian dan Kemandirian Mental

Suatu gambar dari suatu halaman manga yang sudah relatif lama. Sumber: mangafox.com.

Jangan salah, ini udah selesai gw baca, kira-kira setahun yang lalu. Dan harus gw akui, setelah selama ini gw baca berulang kali, gambar ini gak sekalipun kehilangan daya untuk menggugah.

Dan kalau ada hal yang mau gw sampaikan di post ini, kalau ada hal yang harus gw akui, adalah bahwa menurut gw momen dari gambar ini adalah momen paling hebat yang pernah gw baca dalam sejarah cerita manga. Sejauh ini belum ada momen dalam manga lain yang pernah gw baca yang ngalahin momen ini. Sori kalo terlalu sentimental, tapi itulah opini gw.

Sebab menurut gw gambar diatas menggambarkan kapabilitas manusia yang paling agung untuk menyadari dirinya di dunia ini. Kapabilitas manusia untuk mengalahkan dirinya sendiri dan menantang dunia.

Sudah ah, gw cuma mau share itu aja. Yang belum tau manga apaan ini silakan cari aja di mangafox. Dan saran gw: don't judge a book by its title.

Make Good Stand

This.

..is not my artwork. In fact, some of you might have met this comic in 9gag or other forums. And if you look closely there are words below the ending panel which say it all. What I want to lay before you all is the message contained quite extrinsically by this comic.

The message itself is quite literal. And so, I have made an attempt to do it literally. MAKE GOOD ART.

Now hold on, this is not the only picture I want to show to you. Read on, please.

The first line said "Sometimes life is hard". Well that's exactly what I've had my heart felt these past three days. Jobs sucks, college sucks, health sucks, team project sucks.. It all loaded into my mouth. Added to the fact that someone close had made me depressed. It might be true the saying: "The closer someone is to you, the bigger the potential he has to hurt you". But of course I don't want to weigh this post with some rambling. Of course I don't want to fill my remaining time just rambling. Of course, I want to rise. I want to stand.

The above comic has been awhile circulating in the net when I got that depression. I have seen it before, and while the message still linger in my head like an obscure fog in the darkness, it transformed into a gigantic granite text block when I decided I would make a stand. "Why don't I?"

And so, last Friday morning I was preparing to embark on a journey downtown to make a good gist of it. I wanted to avoid feeling pathetic not being able to rise against the world, and so I wanted to do something I think I can do best. I wanted to make a sketch. No, a series of sketches. And I would use various panorama in Bandung as my objects for that. Talking about Paris van Java. Heh.

The first stop should have been my campus itself, but, seeing it's already crowded, and all the good comfy spots have been taken, I decide to go further south. Then I remembered that I had never actually see the interior of Salman mosque. So away I went, but then further hesitation got me. Am I allowed to go inside and draw just like it's natural? Not to mention I'm not a muslim. The last choice would be to draw the terrace, which was by no means the least interesting, because the strikingly unique design of its minaret. I was about to incorporate the full impression of the minaret in my sketch. So I chose a position that provided me a good angle (the place have no platform for me to sit on, and so, defying my own policy to make the least attention in public places, I sat.on. the way. Yeah.) and started drawing. 

By now you would have perceived that I have failed; I had made the wrong scale early in the progress, and so, the minaret couldn't be drawn fully; its' top cannot be reached. But I had only realized it half-way, given how amateur I am. So I left it at that. It's quite a simple sketch really, but it demanded more than half an hour, again, because I'm an amateur.

My next route would be taking the Dago road further down; and so, the quite modern landmark, the big letters which spell DAGO went without saying as the next object. Actually I already have a long-time desire to draw it IN COLOR, but at that time the chance presented itself as a sketch. 

For me it's the most dreaded sketching I've been experiencing for its' leaves texture; I know some will not call it a sketch anymore, given how much detail I gave for the trees' leaves. I'm not gonna refuse that; in the beginning, the two trees behind the letter 'D' is the most singular, and for that, an obvious 'point' of interest, object in the sketch. I drew this from across the junction.

Then away I went further south; I already decided the next would be the Cathedral of Bandung when I was sketching the Salman mosque. Both of them have different taste of architecture, obviously, and I want to savor the taste of them both. Personally, I have been quite a fan for Gothic architecture, for it symbolizes the Middle Ages of Europe: an era which the style was born, and also an era which I like its history the most.

I need not to mention that the tower is rather tilted in the sketch. It was my fault. The hardest one is the tower itself, for its Gothic style supports in its three corners have a way to deceive me; dictating the direction upwards in the most complicated fashion for an amateur like me. Also the same case as the minaret's top at the first sketch: actually the tower is supposedly much higher. Again, my wrong choice of scale.

The increasing softness of my 2B pencil and my roaring stomach made me left the scene before the shades were drawn. I then walked to the Braga street. Stopped at the local book shop to buy a pen, an eraser, and a small sharpener. Then I took a brief rest outside a Circle K, which provides a patio with chairs and tables. I sipped down my coffee and then 'completed' the sketch.

The next logical interesting object to draw was supposedly somewhere along the Braga street; for its old ambience and colonial architecture. But it was already noon; there were many people taking shots and the street did not provide a better atmosphere. Cars and bikes had already dominated the scene; I took my leave and walked further down to see in front of me a NISP building. It's obviously built for another purpose in the past, and I don't understand Dutch, so I can't perceive what this building's purpose in the olden times.

Nevertheless, it has the strongest impression of 'vintage' than most building in Braga; and so, again stripping down my own self-image, I prepared the best pose for sketching: it is by sit on the edge of a public plant's pot on the pedestrian just in the side of a crowded road. For this scene, I departed from my wearied down pencil and used the pen I just bought, for it produce more precise lines in my opinion. It is not without its consequences. By producing 'slimmer' lines, I had to put more effort for shading and giving impression to details. Added to the rather complex ornamental accents of the building, it made my hand sore fast.

A quite interesting experience I got from sketching this building. It was already late afternoon, and many people taking walks, passing by and saw what I was doing. Then there was one group of people passing; judging from their faces, they aren't Indonesian: probably some tourist from Middle East. One man from the group walked ahead, and by that, saw my sketch the first. He then called his mate to come here, "Hassan!" if my ear did not fail me. Then the 'Arabian' group swarmed me. I tried being nice and smiled to them. They then said "Assalamu'alaikum" which I spontaneously answered "walaikumsalam". Then the first man which saw my sketch asked me something; I could only perceived that he said one word which sounded like "Architecture?". I could only answered "Yes, yes" then added "Just killing time!" The group, seemed to be satisfied, shortly departed while one man said "Good luck". I thanked him for that. Maybe I was giving them an impression that I was trying to concentrate in my sketch, huh? Probably they think I was doing an assignment and didn't want to disturb me more. Who knows?

The last sketch I made didn't meant to be the last; I wanted to do the outside of the Bandung Station and also the inside of it. I thought it just like the rail station in Bogor: we can buy a "peron" ticket for the people who want to escort or pick up their relatives, so that they can get inside the station. Later I realize it doesn't. But before I attempted to do that, first I sketched the outside view of the Bandung Station's South Gate. It is where the monument of some old locomotive located; as I wanted to challenge myself, I decided to tackle the complex form of the loco.

And boy it sure does really hard! The gate in the background did not much of a help either. Not to mention some Daihatsu and Toyota cars were blocking the clearer view of the gate; my only choice was to draw them, keeping the sketch as natural as possible. When this sketch was completed, I went inside and attempting to go to the interior part of the station; bet the guard could not provided any "peron" ticket nor a permit for me to go through.

And so my personal journey ended. 

I have to say, it's quite an enjoyable trip. Actually, it has risen my spirit once more; now I know I can tackle something I have never done, something that is so ridiculous to begin with; for it stem from an obscure anger. I must say I'm not against a second trip; but I want that to be from a different motivation, hopefully a nicer one. But of course, that is not the point from this post. For it begins from "Sometimes life is hard"..

And I Don't Even Like Lemons

It's just that lately my life feels shitty, every day ends leave a bad taste in my mouth. It's like someone forces me to eat shit, everytime, every second. And now it borders to depression. I just hope this ordeal ends quickly, don't care if it'll end with sunshine and flowers blooming or raining thunderstorms. I just need it to end.

Nostalgalau

so this time it's not about a sketch, isn't it.

Lagi-lagi sebuah entri baru yang dibikin malam hari kala hujan di luar... tapi kali ini bukan tentang sketsa baru.
Jadi barusan gw iseng2 ngeliat foto-foto pindahan dari hp gw yang dulu (yang sekarang jadi hp pembantu gw, hahahahaha) di folder di laptop gw, aaaaaaaaand I stumbled upon this picture. Yep, the one right above this text.

And I suddenly missed kosan lama gw.

Dulu gw pikir pindah kosan itu wajar dan umum dilakukan. Di pikiran gw yang dulu emang agak naif dan terlalu ideal adalah bahwa seiring berjalannya kuliah, seorang mahasiswa emang umumnya akan berpindah-pindah kosan, terus mencari dan ngekos di kosan dengan biaya dan akses kampus lebih murah, mudah dan cepat dari kosan sebelumnya sampai ditemukan kosan dengan parameter2 tersebut yang optimal ato si mahasiswa lulus (bahkan sempat gw bikin jadi strategi dengan nama: indekos hopping. Pretty freaking up, when I recall this thought, haha)

Jadi ketika waktu itu gw omongin tentang pindah kosan ke ortu dan pemilik kosan, gw terkejut juga melihat mereka terkejut (kejutception). Bahwa waktu itu gw pikir ibu kosan gw yang dulu agak overreacting dengan hal ini sebenarnya agak lucu juga. Lebih bikin terheran2 lagi waktu gw pikir hal ini sudah jadi agak personal manakala ibu kosan gw, ketika beres-beres pindahan udah setengah jalan, nelpon bokap gw dan bilang, yah intinya dia pengen mempertahankan gw dan nawarin kamar kosong manapun sesuka gw, sementara bokap gw bilang udah ga bisa lagi. Man, serius amat. Waktu selesai pindah2in barang ke kosan baru juga ortu gw bilang, "Man, ini terakhir pindahan yah", dengan alasan kerepotan pindahan dan gak enak sama kosan dulu. Gw cuma bisa bilang "Oh, gitu ya", dengan otak kosong gw.

Anyway, sekarang setelah menjalani setahun lebih di kosan yang baru, harus gw sadari bahwa grafik efisiensi  strategi indekos hopping gw (yang cuma sekali hopping juga) agak cacat juga. Seperti diagonal chart di game FIFA ato PES, beberapa keunggulan tertentu akan dibayar dengan beberapa kekurangan tertentu juga. Dengan ke-lebihmurah-an tarif kosan baru yang tidak seberapa dan lebih deket kampus dengan jarak hanya beberapa ratus meter dibanding kosan lama, beberapa hal yang gw sukai dari kosan lama juga harus hilang.

Dan pada saat inilah relevansi foto diatas masuk.
Seperti yang udah lu duga, foto diatas diambil di kamar kosan lama gw. Kamar di kosan gw yang dulu lebih besar; 3 x 4, dengan jendela gede mengarah kejalan, lengkap dengan daun jendela dan gorden gaya jadul. Overall, emang rumah kosan yang dulu emang model2 jadul gitu. Dan gw suka suasana itu. Dikosan gw yang  baru, jendelanya sempit mengarah ke jalur diluar yang menghubungkan kamar2 kosan lain. Gak ada pemandangan (kecuali kalo gw bisa anggap tetangga-tetangga kosan gw lewat telanjang dada mau mandi sebagai pemandangan. Sayangya, gw straight.)
Selain itu, polusi suara di kosan lama juga bisa lebih teredam. Pintu-pintu kamar di kosan gw yang dulu adalah pintu2 kayu jati yang gede dan tebal, diatasnya juga ga ada ventilasi. Mo puter musik sekenceng apapun di dalem ga bakal ganggu di luar, Orang luar berisik juga ga bakal kedenger sampe dalem (kecuali mungkin dari arah jalan, masi kedengeran dari jendela). Dikosan baru? Orang bercakap2 di luar kamar kosan paling ujung pun gw masi bisa denger, puter lagu volume 50% pintu kamar ditutup pun dari luar masi kedengeran jelas T_T. Dibanding kosan baru, pokoknya jauh lebih privacy friendly lah kosan yang dulu.

Seperti yang gw bilang, kosan yang dulu suasananya agak jadul, yang kebetulan something I quite enjoyed juga, dan secara tidak langsung juga membuat gw lebih mudah ngeset mood buat nggambar. I don't know, every man has his own preferences; for me, it's the antique atmosphere that pique my creative mind. And so, banyak dari arsip gambar gw yang gw bikin selama di kosan lama gw. Salah satunya waktu itu libur lebaran dimana gw ga bisa pulang dulu selama dua minggu karena UAS Kimia laknat itu (musuh bebuyutan gw sejak SMP), dan gw mencoba menggambar hal-hal yang ada di sekitar kosan gw untuk menghapus kejenuhan belajar. Here's one excerpt:


Pohon ini, entah pohon apa, tumbuh di pinggiran taman kosan lama gw. Not too impressive, huh?



Well, there's still more, but here I don't intent to show you serious stuffs, it supposedly just sketches. And rants.

Whoops, balik ke kosan lama. Yah begitulah, bahwa beberapa hal yang gw 'rindukan' dari kosan lama sebenarnya banyakan hal-hal subyektif juga, but I can't help it now can I? Having some artistic sense and taste, I inevitably savour some subjective aspects from my surroundings, dan beberapa rasa itu emang gw beri nilai lumayan tinggi dalam hidup gw.

So? Why'd you move? Kenapa gw akhirnya pindah? Oh, banyak alasan, beberapa ga usah gw sebutin disini, tapi parameter yang paling mempengaruhi waktu itu saat gw akhirnya menentukan kosan 'potensial' yang baru adalah tarif dan kedekatan ke kampus. TWO BIG REASONS. Dengan mengorbankan beberapa hal dikosan lama gw yang udah gw bahas sebelunmya, dua hal itu yang menjadi driving force gw untuk akhirnya memantapkan pindah kosan. Am I disappointed? No, I don't, gw ga nyesel. Karena gw tau setidaknya keputusan ini membuat beban ortu gw makin ringan juga dengan tarif kosan yang lebih murah dan biaya transpor yang lebih murah juga. Keringanan buat ortu gw lah yang gw angkat tinggi menepis semua pertimbangan lain. And, nevertheless, I still can create sketches, though not too frequent anymore. Besides, it's supposedly not too important for a mechanical engineering student, hahah (dry laugh).

After These Long Weeks..

..that I can finally able to post another scribble in here. No, to be honest, months have gone.

This drawing revealed in my mind after some time ago, when I had a dream about ruins. The dream was so vividly clear that it left a mark in my memory so long until now. What I remember was shattered walls, broken greenish tiles, some old, dusty painting hanging awkwardly on a wall, some dusty and ripped carpets, to name a few.

It was supposedly noon in my dream as I traversed the ruin. The sun ray's slipped through holes and cleft of the broken roof of the ruin, presenting a beautiful orchestra of glowing lines intermingling each other inside the ruin, while exposing dancing particles of dust which reminding us of olden times.

It's quite saddening indeed that I still don't have the skill of painting to portray the utmost of the dream experience; hence this scribbles. Nevertheless, I'm not quitting; I will pursue my level of painting; I will not forget the dream.